Learning how to capitulate can be one of the best skills for your relationship.

But you know what? I can hear it now:

"But isn't capitulation just giving in and being co-dependent with someone?"

Well it can be. Especially if it is done on a regular basis over time.

Over the course of a long term love relationship there are times when the best thing to do is try it the other person's preferred way.

The capitulating partner basically says

"Our relationship and our happiness are more important to me than this issue. Let's try it your way."

Another way to look at it is there are times when an issue is very important to one person and of little importance to the other person. In this case, because it is not important to you, the other person can do things their way.

The last guy of the group of guys with whom I grew up did not marry until he was almost 40. Let's just say he was fairly set in his ways. When I asked him how things were going after the first year of marriage. His response showed a great deal of wisdom for the first year of marriage:

"I finally figured out that the sun will come up tomorrow if we try it her way."

That is not co-dependency, that is called cooperation.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com